Saturday, February 4, 2012

I am not a prostitute.

In the last couple months, I've been propositioned twice.  Not great for the ego.  You would think it would happen when I'm taking a smoke break in front of the hotel, but no, not that obvious.

The first time was in Palm Springs.  I was walking from our hotel to the liquor store around the corner to get a pack of cigarettes.  I left the hotel and walked past the balcony where my friend and boyfriend were, and headed down the street.  I got about halfway when a car pulled over and the driver offered me "a ride."  I got back to the hotel and they had seen everything from the balcony, and didn't let me forget it for the rest of the weekend.

The second time was last night.  I had an awesome night out with a girlfriend, and we hung out at the bar my boyfriend works at.  The details are a little fuzzy (don't judge me) but apparently I told the boyfriend about being offered $2,000 to sleep with some dude who already had two chicks with him.  Ambitious much?

Both times, I was not dressed promiscuously.  In Palm Springs I was wearing jean capris and a tank top (not even a low cut or spaghetti strapped one!) and last night I was wearing jeans and heels.

I don't get it.  Is this normal?  I mean, I could use the money, but I'm not THAT desperate.  The only illegal thing I've been asked for while standing in front of the hotel I work at is cocaine.  Which they asked for in code, and it took me an uncomfortable amount of time to figure out that "white girls" was a metaphor.  I should have known because they were clearly coked out to begin with, but apparently I'm not quite hip to the drug slang these days, yo.  But, I digress.

 I apparently have no idea what hookers actually look like or wear since I'm being mistaken for one.  I'll try harder to... um... yeah, I got nothing.  How do I turn this into a positive?  People want to sleep with me?  Duh.  I have a vagina.  Dudes have low standards.  Oh well.  I guess this just means that if things truly get worse for me financially, I'll make a good living selling my body.  Or at least a living.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go stock up on condoms and thigh high boots... 

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