Keep away from open flames

I'm not very good at using things like microwaves, toasters, toaster ovens, etc.  I can make a complete Thanksgiving dinner with NO help, but ask me to make popcorn and it'll turn to tar.  Seriously, have you ever seen what happens to popcorn when it catches fire?  It isn't pretty.

So tonight I'm at work and I got the brilliant idea to eat a bagel.  The kitchen is on the top floor of the hotel.  I cut the bagel, stuck it in the toaster oven, turned the knobby thing all the way and pushed the little toast lever thingy down (these are technical terms, of course).  Right at that moment, I heard the bell ring at the front desk.  I rushed down the two flights of stairs to find my last check in waiting for me.

Of course, he didn't want to use the credit card on file, so I had to void the old authorization.  His strip was out, so I had to manually enter it.  Then, the machine just said to try again after all that, so I did it again, by hand.  It finally worked, all the paperwork was done, and I gave him my spiel and directions to his room.  Then, he decided he didn't want that room, and had me switch him to a different one.  This whole time I'm thinking about my bagel and trying to rush, but still be friendly.

He finally left and I SPRINTED up the stairs to find the kitchen filled with smoke and the toaster oven ON FIRE. I knocked down the little door and tried to blow it out.  Nope.  Tried again. Nope. And again. No go.  I turned to the sink and filled up a glass of water and turned back to the toaster oven. I hesitated long enough to decide it was probably a bad idea to dump a shit ton of water into the coils at the bottom of an electric appliance, not to mention the amount of smoke that would add.  I closed the little door turned around.  Fire extinguisher, fire extinguisher, where is the fucking fire extinguisher?!?  I finally found it and it's dusty and attached to the wall somehow and again, the mess that would create!  Shit.  I turned the knob off and finally managed to blow the fire out and pull the bagel out of the thing since it kept catching BACK on fire.

I put the bagel outside to cool so it wouldn't melt the trashbag and smell up the place even worse.  I opened the windows and tried to fan the smoke out with a broom.  I let the kitchen air out and the hotel has now FINALLY stopped smelling like burned bagel.

 

The pieces on the top used to be the top half.

... I'm still hungry.