On the crest of the hill. Pinned to a tree.

Before the days of gays and parades on the daily, Mr. Jeffrey Beene and I were forced to communicate via our primitive cellular devices and actually coordinate conjugal visits to the hills of crest.  Now I know this may confuse those of you who are used to us being attached at the hip and have watched us conquer that town without ever smudging our mascara, but it's true.

Enter the FaceTime Dance Party. 

Now if you're unfamiliar with FaceTime, why are we friends? it's the video chatting feature on the iPhone 4 (and 4S.  Siri, you will be mine...).  So when too much time passed between his visits down to SD, one of us would call the other on FaceTime, play a song, and we'd dance while holding our phones.  It truly is an art form.  Lady Gaga works best, but any old pop song will do.  You're welcome.  And if you don't have an iPhone, what the fuck is wrong with you? [Like, seriously. I pulled mine out of a fucking TOILET yesterday (fully functional today btw, woohoooooo!!!!) and would still rather put toilet water on my face than carry any other smart phone.] you still have options.  Read on.

Fast forward to when Jeff and I finally lived in Hillcrest, where if we couldn't walk to it then it wasn't worth going to.  FaceTime Dance Parties evolved into Backalley Dance Parties and Pants Off Dance Offs.  If you don't have an iPhone, you too can take part in these ridiculous amazing time wasters!! (Disclaimer: they're way more awesome when intoxicated, but if you didn't pick that up from the fact that we actually started Pants Off Dance Offs, you're giving us too much or too little credit).  Simply pull out your favorite music playing device, and play DJ while you walk/dance your way to your destination.  We took the alley home from 7-11 one particular day, and decided a Backalley Dance Party was in order.  Jeff played DJ, and we danced our asses off through the alley back to the apartment.  Well, Jeff isn't so great at walking and scrolling through his insane music library, and walked right into a low hanging tree branch coming around a corner.  As if this wasn't perfect enough, through gasps of laughter, his response was "That tree almost clothes-pinned me!!" 

This is what I pictured:

Just wait for it...  This is gonna be the next big thing in the WWWWWF...